The Worlds Worst Best Video Game Awards (2010)

   Whooooo! It feels great to be alive, for the past week and so days, I have been kidnapped by goats and taken to the Mountain of Taumata­whakatangiha-whatever, just know that it's a mountain in NZ and these goats have cut open my body and fed it to their carnivorous children.. which I guess you can call "kids"... God, what a great world we live in. Anyway, it's great to be back and although I did promise myself to never... ever... write an End-of-the-year Awards thing, well.. I guess promises are made to be broken, so here it is.

   Let's start off the evening (or morning.. or night.. whatever) with..
(I apologize ahead of time for parenthesis and ellipses..)


            Best Video Game Story:
     Nominations:
         Alan Wake
        Dragon Age: Origins
        Fable 3
        Heavy Rain
        Red Dead Redemption

            
     To many people this may be a surprise, trust me... I was going back and forth between this and Red Dead Redemption, and many people can say that RDR deserved to win this, but you know what? Heavy Rain was a great game with a great story, and this year... it completely went under the radar unnoticed. Yes, while RDR brought something fresh to the table, Heavy Rain brought suspence, psychological challenges, it kept you stimulated and wanting more.. without knowing what came next, without knowing "okay, I have to go here and do this", it was surprise after surprise after surprise and it was a game that pulled at you mentally and emotionally.
      For those who haven't heard of it, you're missing out.. and so are people who don't have PS3s because this game is only for PS3. But I recommend this game to everyone who loves a great suspenseful game, I mean.. you think Alan Wake is good? This is better, and it doesn't matter if you're playing it or watching someone else play it because you get attached no matter what.


            Best Graphics:
      Nominations:
        Alan Wake
        Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
       Dragon Age: Origins
       Final Fantasy XIII
       Red Dead Redemption
       Heavy Rain
       Mafia II
 
           
     Again, this was a really hard decison.. you had the dreamy world of Final Fantasy vesus the rugged realism of Red Dead Redemption, and RDR won by the hair on it's chest... from John Marston's stubble, to the scratches in the wood frame of the barn and everything else... the visual aspects of this game has flirted with the lines of reality to the point of making me think I was personally pulling guns on people and seeing some... "personal pleasures" going on... in other words.. it was like being at a distant cousins wedding (don't lie to yourself, we all have that cousin somewhere). But the work that went into the graphics of the game has added such a unique feel in gaming.. sure, the theme of the game and being out in the old west was exciting and new, but how can you really feel like you're back in that setting with not even seeing a single tumbleweed? Exactly.. and this game doesn't leave you feeling like you left out on an experence that your ancestors have achieved. By far the best game from Rockstar we've seen yet.


            Best Voice Acting:
     Nominations:
          Alan Wake
        Mafia II
        Enslaved: Odyssey to the West
 
       
   While I do not think Alan Wake was the best game as far as gameplay goes, the story and the attention to detail - both visual and verbal - were outstanding,... you could feel the sadness and fear in the voices of the characters.. you could sense the urgency of everything that was going..  it was like an ASPCA commercial and the words in the game was the angelic voice of Sarah McLachlan, so in short.. the developers of this game did everything right.. they sent people in the middle of the woods with tents and a recorder and made sure everything was dead accurate... and because of dedication and the total result, this has to get the best voice acting. You felt everything that the developers would want you to feel and it's amazing when something like a game can offer that emotional connection.


            Favorite Character:
      Nominations: 
          Dragon Age - Morrigan
        Mafia II - Vito Scaletta
        Red Dead Redemption - John Marston
        Final Fantasy - Lightning

        
  This one would be a tad bit obvious to my readers because hey, here at the-girl-gamer, we, or I.. love anything about the mob, and Vito and his buddy Joe have entertained me beyond any expectation I've had from even just hearing the word "Mafia". From Vito's tough and serious personality with Joe's carefree and nonchalant attitude, it makes for the perfect combo.. like Pretzels with Ice Cream, and these personalities mixed together just don't give you a great video game experience, it makes you feel like you're laughing with buddies...if you're buddies are in the Mafia anyway.


            Best Soundtrack:
      Nominations:  
         Red Dead Redemption
        Mafia II
        Rock Band 3
 
    
    I know what you guys are thinking "RDR had a great soundtrack", and yes! I agree.. I loved the two songs that was played at epic parts of the game, but it didn't make me download those songs.. however, I downloaded the songs from Mafia 2 and not only played, but sang the songs over my headset as I was playing CoD.. oh yes... that was me singing "That's Amore"... and don't lie, you all loved it. Now.. this game had *the best* soundtrack out of any game of this genre.. even beats Rockstar games that follow the same game play... you may not agree.. but the music made me feel at ease, relaxing, and it was just fun and got you in a great mood. I didn't even mind Joe's voice when he was singing a Dean Martin song.. it's just that good and really sets you in a great mood.


            Game of the Year:
      Nominations:     
         Alan Wake
        Call of Duty: Black-Ops
        Halo: Reach
        Red Dead Redemption
       
     Yeah... this was obvious.. I mean, come on, Game Informer even wrote an article about how it was "soo perfect", one of the writers couldn't even finish the game. From the details, to voice acting, to different missions, adventures, mini-games, and DLC, it's no wonder why everyone raves about this game over mics and forums.. seriously, if everyone played this game, it would end all wars.. because they'd be so exhausted from shooting everyone in sight, no one would want to kill eachother, although I'm sure most people disagree, no one cares about their opinion, why? Because this game is great. It's new, it's fresh... sure, it offers everything Rockstar stands for (prostitutes, drugs and alcohol.. or should I say every straight-edge kid's nightmare?), but it shines everything in a different light. Instead of playing deadbeat with a quick rags-to-riches plan, you're playing the early out-west American Dream, and what could be better? Nothing.


       Disclaimer: This is just my opinion... if you want to disagree, feel free to take advantage of that right, just don't take advantage of the right to be a big-mouthed moron... that is all.

11/11/11

    Besides this date being my personal prediction for the Apocalypse,  The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim (fifth in the series) is being released. Oh yes.
You know what this means? I have less than a year for saving up X amount of money for this game, Assassin's Creed Brotherhood (still, and don't expect me to write a review, it's too late), Call of Duty Sledgehammer, L.A. Noire, the new Dragon Ages, and whatever other games have to push themselves in my direction.




     So Skyrim is a region in the Elder Scrolls that is home of the Nords.
   (for those who forgot who the Nords were, they're the most human-looking out of all the different races. They're great at sailing, and anything that as to deal with a blade and a shield.. trust me, if you want close-combat, this is the race to go for in the game)
Skyrim is the most rugged area on the continent and also contains the five highest points in Tamriel, so we can expect to see some wonderful snow scenery there. However, if you're like me... you're not looking foreword to having your character climb up mountains and seeing through mesh objects and eventually getting stuck, so here's the good news, other than peaks that cover the eastside, the rest of Skyrim is vertical, with... lakes and normal stuff.




    - Places to Mention:
 Haafingar: Home of Bards' College and also one of Skyrim's chief ports.
 Windhelm: Was once the capitol of the first empire.
 Throat of the World: Highest mountain in Skyrim and highest point in Tamriel aside from Red Mountain.

New Addiction..

     Hey guys! God, it feels nice to be back in my room and on this laptop... like old times. Anywho, I haven't been on for awhile (obviously), and why? Well, who cares... but I've been addicted to Angry Birds. Yes, I've got into the lil birdie craze after listening to so much Elvis Duran. Now, for those who don't know what Angry Birds is..




  
      There you go. It's a strategic game that is phone-based. You can get it on android-technology phones, iPhones, iPads, and other smart phones and sorts. The game is free and and most importantly - awesome. Now... with Christmas around the corner, people are looking for the best deals with anything, even games, and this game is the best deal you can get, unless you're printing a coupon for a PS3 and a few games for 5 bucks (oh yes, I've seen them), is this Angry Birds game. Seriously, for Christmas, tell your friend to just download this game and give them a $15 gift card for MapleStory or Walmart.

      Now, in the game, you launch a series of birds (that when you click on them while they're floating in mid-air, they have powers/abilities) in order to save eggs from a bunch of evil pigs that are protected by varies materials.. (wood, glass, stone). While the score to reach appears to be at such a high standard, it's insanely addicting and even if you're losing, you don't mind it because it's just that fun.

    
       I gotta give this game a 8.75/10. It's a perfect game for it's genre, but the fact that it can be insanely hard to reach the score limit is just insane.. I can get over 70,000 on a level an not beat it, so t's slightly exhuasting, which.. yes... adds to the addiction factor, but like I said, everyone... download this game.

The Got-to-Grab Thing of December

      Now, I figured that I was going to start a Got-to-Grab gaming item/s of the month, and I guess this really wasn't the month to do it.. yeah...  all gamers know that most publishers don't have games come out directly in December because theres extra stuff going on and they want to meet release demands as well as holiday demands and there's no sense in just going out and releasing games all over in December... so, the item of the month?

        World of Warcraft : Catacylsm

 Release: December 7
 Type: Expansion Pack
 For: Mac OS X, Windows

     For the longest time I tried to convince myself to not write about World of Warcraft since I never had the chance to play it... but here it is. This is going to most likely be the "have to have" game/expansion of the month of December, if you don't have it... you're a loser, even by gamer standards. Now, this is the third expansion for the series an it offers some pretty cool new things. It has a redesign of the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor. There's going to be new missions (about 3,500) and different starting areas depending on the race of your character. The level cap has been raised (80 to 85), new towns, seven new dungeons including two previously released, three new raids, new battlegrounds, a new skill (archeology), new zones, new races which also include new race/class combos. Personally? I'm excited now.. and who knows? Maybe I'll just put that gaming computer to use.
    I think this is great.. I always get worried about games and replay value, but you never hear of this game growing old, and especially when developers keep right on top of it and offer a variety of new stuff.


     

Videogameplasty..?

    So I was watching Bridalplasty or whatever new show there is that has brides getting plastic surgery in order to compete for a – wait for it… - wedding of their dreams! Mind you, these aren’t fat chicks either… although one was on The Biggest Loser, it’s nothing that a mile run in the morning couldn’t fix. Well… because I know that these girls are going to look worst in the end rather than good (and even if they don’t, their personalities are horrible), I figured I would write a list of those characters that went under the knife and came back… odd..




    Now sadly, the list contains some all-time classic favorites and ofcourse, some others. Let’s have a look of the finishing look, shall we?



Crash Bandicoot



    I hate to say this… but who is that re-re to the right? It looks like what would be Crash Bandicoot in the 90’s if he wasn’t already there in the 90’s… you look at the first character, he’s simple, built looking, and ready for an adventure that would make Indiana Jones blush. The one on the right? The graphic artists, or “the aesthetic experts of the gaming industry”, pretty much screwed him up, and I wouldn’t go on an adventure with that creep if the game was given 10/10 stars. The pants and the pose shows he’s trying to be “culturally hip”, and the way he the lacing in his shoes shows he’s off-beat and doesn’t follow the beat of everyone’s drum, the goofy expression is supposed to be a slap in the face of “fun goofy guy with the rad hair you want” , a make-over that didn’t need to be done, but was done based on the fact that the developers thought that kids would be more attracted to this character. Morons.



Legend of Zelda – Link




    I understand that the impostor to the right to suppose to be for the DS version... but seriously... since when does Link wear eye liner and look like something that hopped out of NickJr? Umm.. never, the dude slays spiders and can fight, atleast I hope so, he's been doing it since 1987? This is.. or was one of my favorite characters until the DS got a hold of it.. those who love Link are more likely to have known him back in the 80's and the kiddos (like me) know him on the N64... we watched him grow up and go through childhood and manhood collecting details and pixels throughout his life.. and it took one idiot system to take it all away. You take a giant leap over the Grand Canyon and you get pushed all the way back by a termite.. the DS being the termite..


    Every Popular Game - Mario


 

      What the hell, Japan? What did you do!? Look at his face! You could bounce a brick off that baby. While old Mario consists of about.. 5 pixels and is only 2D, I like him better. You don't have to focus on lame expressions or being distracted by how many hairs are in his mustache.. everything is simple, and the game has insane replay value (even today, it's a classic). Marios games these days? They sell, but there's about 8million different series, and even more than 1,000 games in each series.. seriously, how many Mario Parties are there? I don't know, I haven't been to them all because they keep getting pumped out like cow milk... from an immortal cow. I understand times are going to keep going, graphics are going to get... "better" and characters are going to get make-overs, but is a mega-botox injection needed every year?




   BanjoKazooie


  So.. I guess I'm just realizing that Kazooie is a girl, which is fine, nothin' wrong with that, but when did Banjo freakin' join the Jersey Shore Whore cast? When did he get the giant bangs sticking out of his head? I guess bears just like growing out their hair and having it spiked a yard away from their head. These guys kinda put me in a bad mood now.. if I play this game, I'm ready for an adventure, oh yes... but Kazooie looks miserable and Banjo looks like he's more interested in playing a ukulele and smoke a banana leaf soaked with steroids. A better make-over would've been nice.. the game is about adventure and fun, Kazooie doesn't need to look sultry-ish and Banjo.. he looked better before.


     Waluigi




     Why yes,that is a blank space right next to an photo of a horrible looking character made by.. Nintendo. Now, while I'm sure all gamers can come together and say "there's a list of characters that should have never been created", this guy makes the list, because from an aesthetic stand-point (which is what this post is about), he would've looked more attractive by not existing.. seriously, the word would be a happier place. This character got made because the big shots at Nintendo thought Wario needed a partner in a game.. you know what I would have done? I would've saved money by not having Wario in the game and dodging the concept of creating a character that NO ONE cares about, and probably a character that most people have never even heard of in the first place. Wario is stupid enough.. there doesn't need to be two of him. End of story.


     I wish companies who have characters that are loved (by millions) would put out a poll, or even a contest to have people decide what the character should look like. No one wants to see a cartoon Link, no one wants Pedo-Mario staring them down. And I've seen other lists like this.. who have Bomberman and Street Fighter characters, and while they're HUGE transformations, they're not that bad... although Bomberman kinda got murdered and had some mechanical weirdo take his place, but oh well.